ell-ohh-vee-eee♥

Monday, January 12, 2009 ; 10:14 PM {♥}
The Question

Recently, i've been thinking a lot....about......LOVE.

I know i know, i should concentrate on my study,

and moderation is coming to an end and everything.

But, some things have really been bothering me, and i'm just trying to find an answer.

To whatever question it is.

In the past there have been a lot of people who asked me,

Would you rather be loved, or love someone?

My instincts tell me, i'd rather be loved.

Yes, i really thought that would be my answer.

I mean, who wouldn't want to be loved? Be treated well?

Be...the person who matters the most in someone's world?

I've always thought, i would be able to live with it, and feelings would eventually develop.

But recently, i think time has proven me wrong.

I've been thinking about the past, the past one year.

When i actually did, feel something for someone.

It felt there's something more interesting in life,

something which you can wake up to in the morning,

and fall asleep with it at night.

Even though there's heartaches all the time (literally)

And the suspense of not knowing how the other person feels haunts me day and night.

However i felt it was exciting, it was fun, it was.....unexpected.

But now, it's just so different. I don't understand why i feel this way.

I mean, i thought being loved dearly by someone, is something i've always hoped for.

I've always hoped there would be someone there for me, always.

Someone who cares and remember every single word i say.

Someone, who cares for my feelings and fulfill my wishes.

But when it really happens, i don't get the kind of lose-a-heart-beat i expected to have.(maybe a lil)

So i started questioning myself, what is wrong with me?

Aren't i getting what i wanted? Why am i still not satisfied?

The answer is still, unknown.

Maybe it's because, i'm taking it all for granted.

Then when it disappears one day, i'd start to hold on the last thread of hope,

and torture myself to death.

I don't know, i don't know what i want anymore.

It just keeps on bothering me,

like a broken tap,

the water keeps dripping, and the echoes in the toilet haunts me every night i sleep.

But wait, i have an answer to one question.

I'd rather love someone, than be loved by someone i don't love.

the guiltiness eats me away

cindyy

Labels: love

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Cindy Chiu
Cindy Chiu 的個人檔案

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cindyy, 16
gets older every January 11
currently studying in SSIS

Likes<3
[♥] COTTONCANDYYY?
[♥] the color BABY BLUE
[♥] READ, especially sitting somewhere cozy without anyone disturbing me :]
[♥] my friends and family, they are the most precious things to me at the moment!
[♥] my dog XIAO BAI♥
[♥] to eat ice cream, especially strawberry cheesecake flavor :]
[♥] teddy bears/stuff toys, i have a whole collection of 'em XD
[♥] going to KTV
[♥] STITCH♥&CINNAMOROLL♥
[♥] GOSSIP GIRL♥
[♥] TAIWANNNNNN♥

Dislikes
[x] bugs, or any type of insects. They make me scream >"<
[x] dark, it gives me a gloomy and scary feeling
[x] people who lie to me, especially people without a good reason behind it
[x] people who can't keep their mouths shut when it is neccessary.

cravings {♥}

please gimme!

{♥}Go HAINAN WITH MY BABES(:
{♥}Go Bali/Hawaii or SOME kinda tropical island!
{♥}a professional camera with cool lenses and everything:D
{♥}get MYP cert
{♥}hot pink heels
{♥}visit Europe
{♥}MORE COTTONCANDY
{♥}grow long hair and find the right hairstyle :]
{♥}瘦腿!
{♥}go Japan
{♥}PIMPLE DISSAPPEAR
{♥}new perfume
{♥}black hoodie jacket
{♥}BIG BLACK BAG
{♥}starbucks bottle :D
{♥}new earphones!
~~♥}Colour contacts!~~ GREY :D
~~{♥}get my prom dress made~~made, wonder what it will look like on me (:
~~{♥}ONE MORE EAR PIERCING!~~got it with nawsi and yian <3
~~{♥}get into the school i want to go~~ I GOT INTO SHSID :D
~~{♥}valentine anyone?2009~~yes i found my dear chinchin♥
~~{♥}牛仔褲~~ H&M :D
~~{♥}NIKE Waffles jacket(it's so CUTE<3)~~謝謝timmy :D but do NOT buy something so expensive next time, okay?
~~{♥}go 墾丁again~~love the sky :]
~~{♥}new handphone~~ W595
~~{♥}black eyeliner~~KATE!i love it :D
~~{♥}WATCH (NEED BADLY)~~ 我要謝謝姐姐 :D 不過我還想要一個~
~~{♥}new backpack~~
~~{♥}the "Ks" and "8s" break up~~YES YES YES YES YES :D
~~{♥}skin color lipgloss~~CLINIQUE 900NT FOR FIVE!!!
~~{♥}dye/highlight my hair!~~not really obvious though :(
~~{♥}sleepover with my all my girlfriends<3~~
~~{♥}get hilary to buy~~/wear a skirt :P YOU NEED TO WEAR IT FOR ME TO SEE!
~~{♥}SUNGLASSES~~tres happy :D
~~{♥}wallet~~bought this really nice black wallet in tw :D
{♥}find my fate♥

media player {♥}

Please don't stop the music

沒有如果 - 梁靜茹{♥}